My girlfriend wants to go to her ex funeral. my dad recently passed away.
My girlfriend wants to go to her ex funeral Memory after memory came bolting through my brain: I remembered the first time I had dinner at his house — steak, pasta and broccoli, as only he could make it. My ex (19F) and I (19M) dated for 1. They’re going to be emotional and perhaps prone to lash out. If she were a wonderful girlfriend she would not have gone on a vacation with another man - whom she dated in the past. Possibly carpool with the former friend so it may make things a little bit easier? I just recently had to go to my exs (daughter's father) funeral a few months back. She wanted to go with her best friend but he is not sure about his work yet next year and is not taking steps to find a job or committing to travel plans so she wanted someone else. Why did she react like this? I been with my girlfriend/fiancé for over 4 years now, we got engaged last year and been living together over two. After she told me about her affair she begged for mercy and we went into counselling, she blocked him in everything and she showed me that she wanted to fight for our relationship. Spoiler alert Dave wants to fuck her again. Rule #2: You Ought to Send a Memorial Gift If you decide to attend the funeral, first look at the obituary to see whether the family has expressed a preference for donations to a cause or My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. my dad recently passed away. My ex-father-in-law had been in my life for 23 years. My wife is furious with me and thinks that I My [28m] ex girlfriend [23F] If the family doesn't want you to attend, please remember one thing. The only person I talk to about my feelings is my mom because I know that she will never do that to me but it is very hard because I live in a different country. In fact, if you don’t go, your presence may be missed. if he never did, and she's just looking for him to console her in her time of need, then no, it's not appropriate. If getting to the funeral or memorial service would be fairly easy for you but you don’t feel close enough to the family or the person who died to attend, you can either attend the service or write the family a letter expressing your Ex girlfriend left me for her ex now wants to her back together . Because you might have to follow through on them. She messed up once in the past, she owned up to it and told me that she would never do it again and would let me know what’s going on (per our original terms of her speaking to or seeing her ex) so I gave her another chance. She wants time to herself for her mental health, she has depression and anxiety and says that she’s doesn’t feel supported by me and that I don’t understand. Be clear and open with your girlfriend about the fact that hanging out with her ex-boyfriend is making you jealous. Don't wrong me I want to support but I can't handle the whole death thing. Update: I told her I am very uncomfortable. If you feel able, you can host a 'wake' style gathering. I could not go with her to the funeral due to short notice because the funeral is 90 minutes away. This just doesn't make sense to me because she constantly told me how much he hurt her and how she would never let herself go through that again. my best friends took me to the hospital after we got the call that he passed, to be with him one last time before the funeral proceedings and to say any final words. My condolences on the passing of [Name], you are in my thoughts during this time. "AITAH for wanting for break up with my gf after her ex's funeral. While I'm upset with my mom for letting her in and not giving me a heads up, that's another issue. So, the Original Poster (OP) says that he and his girlfriend have been together for about four years, and all this time she has been on fairly friendly terms with her high school sweetheart. She died recently - aneurysm. You don’t “let” her do or not. If they seem willing to My (34m) gf’s (35f) ex who she dated right before me passed away, and she wants me to go with her to the funeral. My son refused, saying that she had hurt him and that he wanted nothing further to do with her. Deciding whether to go might depend on the circumstances around your relationship with your former partner. Just because it isn't the 'official' funeral doesn't mean you can't go to her funeral. Keep in mind that funerals are for the living. Do go, and do offer condoleances, explicitly stating who you are. You don't have to go to her funeral if awkwardness and fights are going to be the outcome. She followed those. "For instance, if your partner loves travel, and you don't and won't, and you see him or her enjoying this passion with an ex, you've basically given that ex a tacit invitation to interfere in This has never happened to me but, I was wondering if it would be okay to go to an ex's funeral. 5 years. My girlfriend wants me to go to her dad's funeral (he was 42) with her. RECAP. He wants to g If she feels that it would be more painful or drama than she wants to deal with, maybe she could reach out to his mother (or ex depending on who she may have the better rapport with) and say that she wants to: attend the service, or have a private goodbye or whatever it is she feels the need to do and hope they will allow her that opportunity for closure. She does not have If your ex-husband has passed away, you may wish to attend the funeral service to honor him and the happy times you spent together. (Photo courtesy of Getty Images / RubberBall Productions) Getty I didn't hesitate to go to the funeral, and I'm so glad I did. Because I start work right away and I already have a vacation planned with my best friends, I can't go abroad with her but she really wants to go. When I came back, my mom went to the store to give us some privacy. I swear I gained 30 pounds that summer thanks to My girlfriend (ex now) left me because she still loves her ex and wants to go back to him. 20K votes, 4. She makes her own decisions. Make up a photo book, tell stories, eat food that reminds you of her, or whatever feels appropriate. I won't go so far as to say Also, have your own event. He himself did not Whether it's appropriate to attend your ex partner's funeral will depend on various circumstances. I am so conflicted right now because I do truly love my girlfriend but this is a big red flag to me and something I always thought I would never do. ORIGINAL: AITA for not wanting my husband to go to his ex's funeral? by u/aita_husband_deadex on r/AmITheAsshole (December 20, 2022) I'll admit I'm biased right off the bat. I thought sending flowers and speaking to his mom was enough. If your ex has remarried, it is Are you giving the new relationship a [fair] chance to really flourish or blossom?” All these points are very fair for a living ex, but what about a dead one? One Twitter user asked a question Is it acceptable to go to the funeral of an ex-spouse? What about extended family of your ex to whom you remained close? And what happens if you are footing part of the bill for the burial? I found out last week that my ex (dated for 2 years but good friend for 10+ years) committed suicide at 27. Do you know if your ex’s friends/relatives still like you? That’s a hood judgement whether to go 32. You are not married and this is a rather odd and inappropriate thing to do to your S/O! The Ten Rules of Good Ex-Etiquette for Parents are a great place to start. which was so sweet it made me cry Image credits: VisualLifeguard8937 When the woman’s ex recently died, the couple attended his funeral, and she gave a whole speech idealizing the deceased. No one wants to believe that someone they love could be responsible Make sure you're alone and say what you want to say to her. I can't even go a funeral home without feeling dizzy I'm worried if I tell her no she'll get even more upset. I’d tell her she has every right to be friends with whoever she wants but you can’t become comfortable as her partner if she wants a friendship with her EX. It made me see my ex couldn't control what I did anymore and if I wanted to be friends with his family still that was my decision. She cancelled. If you share children with your ex, this may affect your decision. It is essential to differentiate normal jealousy from delusional jealousy, according to the book "Romantic Jealousy: Understanding and Conquering the Shadow of Love," by clinical psychologist Ayala M. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Edit: update If your ex has remarried, it is especially important to contact the widow or widower to make sure that they're okay with your attendance at the funeral. She asked how I was and what I've been up to. I couldn't stand her. So my gf and I have been together for about 4 years. Don’t go to the funeral if you’re completely estranged. Update 2: After lots of yelling and her apologies: She told me what the reason for not telling coworkers is. She is going to be VERY hard My girlfriend constantly brings her up and finally she gave me an ultimatum between her and my friend. Before making a decision, consider ex Attending Your Ex’s or Their Loved One’s Funeral; Tips for Etiquette for Your Ex’s Funeral; What Should You Do If Your Ex’s Family Doesn’t Want You at the Funeral? How Can You Tell an Ex That You Don’t Want To avoid hurting mourners' feelings and disturbing the family in their time of grief, reach out and ask permission before going to a funeral. If you loved this woman and was close to her PLEASE don't let an ex make or break your decision. He was an issue for me when I first started dating my gf. that is the only way my ex could heal (i broke up with him) A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2013): that's completely up to him. Express your condolences and see how they’re received. Original Post - November 18, 2023 (sorry for bad English) My girlfriend had an affair with a coworker (30M) she even went on a 7 days vacation with him. Say you take her back - are you going to trust her next week when she goes out and meets up with him without you. A solid My son's ex-girlfriend was (understandably) distraught and asked him to come with her to the funeral. I am honestly sick of seeing all this ''I dont want to be a controlling boyfriend my girlfriend can go hang out 1 on 1 with the guy who had his dick in her until midnight and that is totally cool '' I will be honest with you. When my mom hung herself a few months later, Brother #2 brought his girlfriend of 3 months to the funeral, which is where we all met her for the first time. You will always have this in the back of your mind. We spoke to two women who shared The easiest way to solve your dilemma is to reach out to the people who are close to your ex. I can only imagine that she actually had meaningful connection to him in the childhood years long before the divorce. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Go over your pleasant memories. I should start out by saying that my ex-girlfriend/fiancé, Rachel, is one of the most caring and thoughtful people I have ever met. The girlfriend is The "girlfriend" can contest all she wants. When my maternal grandpa died in 2005, my dad introduced his new wife to that side of the family by bringing her with him to the funeral. TikTok video from Spot Readings (@spotreadings): “My GF and I went to her ex's funeral where she gave a big speech, she wouldn't stop talking about how much she Out of state plans with my family are now changed. If my ex even reached out to me I would tell him in no uncertain terms his contact is not welcome, I would block him, and then tell my BF about the contact so he was aware. Funeral Etiquette. After the death of an ex-spouse, funeral etiquette will be a bit different than that of other family members’ funerals. If you choose to attend the funeral My grandmother went to her ex husband’s who cheated on her and was abusive. She is your ex. Explain your dilemma. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. . what would you do in my situation? TL;DR : Girlfriend wants to go out with a male coworker for late night drinks. I do it when I get a chance. Go, pay your respects to this woman. So my girlfriend and I have been together for about 4 years. TLDR girlfriend talks to ex partner, am I thinking straight or just paranoid? Archived post. She made this promise, and we spent the night together, but the very next day she went to the club with her ex and one female friend, as if to test me. I have been divorced from my ex-husband for 22 years. Pines. I’m planning on attending the funeral and I know his fiancé will be there. You don’t have to visit your ex’s grave to honor his or her memory. Please help. Share Sort by: Best. After weighing the factors, you will need to make a decision to attend the funeral. Speak to a friend about your ex. After the death of an ex-spouse, funeral Aug 12, 2023 · In today's Ask Amy column, Amy Dickinson answers a woman's question about attending the funeral service for her ex-husband's father. I think writing a very sweet and emotional letter might be nice. My condolences. Let her grieve if she needs to. Then the funeral decision could go either way. He married her a few months later. I (20M) have been dating this girl (21F) My (f26) husbands (m35) ex wife (f35) went off on me for trying to “be her child’s mom”, called me a whore, and threatened to call the police. I call her "his ex" to myself and others. if he had a relationship with this man, then yes, it would be the right thing to do to pay his last respects. Some guys want an ex girlfriend back, but don’t ever do what is required to get her back. The guests attending the funeral usually have some connection to the deceased or the family of the deceased. Side Note for any relationship: No one should ever be sending you an Amazon list for things they want you to buy or to 'browse' through randomly unless it is Christmas or their birthday and you need suggestions (which you request help with from your S/O ex. Regardless of our history, I wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts. An ex is an ex for a reason. Think baby steps. He called her "his friend". She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart – ranging from attending ex-in-laws’ funerals to DNA surprises. This is not the place to ask to talk about your relationship. Taking your girlfriend to a funeral doesn’t violate etiquette under most conditions, but In this case, my advice would be to go. So she cut off their friendship. She knows that I am suffering a lot and she is my emotional support since I was a kid. If You Attend the Funeral. She wants nothing to do with you so don't meddle in her private family business. You’re not trying to force her into anything and definitely don’t want to date her if your boundaries will make her resentful. Important: Don’t go overboard! When your ex girlfriend told you she needs her space, don’t dive back in and start suffocating her again! Don’t ask her to go out on a date with you the second you get in touch with her again. She My (25M) Ex Girlfriend's (27F) Stepdad Died, Should I Go To The Funeral? If, after thinking it through, choose to go to the funeral: do it for her and her family, not for you. Her ex manned up, became more attractive to her and took a chance to get her back. If there is any way I can help, please let me know. If you are after 6 months of dating, after what i can only assume is her getting bored or unsatisfied, my girlfriend told me she no longer wants to be in a relationship, it's painful, but you might need to go no-contact. 8K Likes, 627 Comments. The rest of the departed’s loved ones might react angrily to your presence. If you are close to the bereaved or the deceased, live close by and have no extenuating circumstances, then, by all means, go to the funeral. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I told my boyfriend I can't go to a funeral with him because my sister's getting married (I'm MOH) and I really need to be here to help out with everything and for her. they had never met my father before, but they spoke to him after his last breath, and thanked him for making me. My (24M) gf (23F) wants to go on a two day trip with two male best friends Well no because for a while she was doing it. 2. She used to be close friends with her ex, however he tried to make a move on her while she and I were together. they are hard to shop for). but based on the little amount of details, it's hard to really say one way or another. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Or when things hit another rough patch in three months. However I told him that he had to go and basically held college money over his head until he went. They were in love once and that’s still a process she There’s no hard and fast rule when it comes to attending an ex’s funeral. Completely different situation than what you're in but regardless, going to an exs funeral can be stressful for other reasons than what My ex in laws are now asking me to be fair and share the inheritance with his girlfriend or she would be on the street. Open comment sort My (24M) gf (23F) wants to go on a two day trip with two male best friends My girlfriend (25F) wants me (26M) to hang out with her friends more, My(M32) wife’s(F27) ex-boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with my wife , I 40f posted here a week ago about how my husband 44m of 20 years went on a trip to his home country while I stayed home and I noticed condoms missing from the stash. My girlfriend wants to be friends with her ex. 3. We started dating when we were 20/21 and had a lot of great time together. Should I just stuck it TLDR: my fiancés ex-wife unexpectedly passed away in a car accident, he wants me to go with him and their son to the funeral but her family do not like me and I feel like me showing up is a bad idea, especially as I am pregnant, but as fiancé wishes for me to go I am unsure whether to go or not. How you knew her and how her family knew her is different. " VisualLifeguard8937. 7K comments. They begin with “Put the children first” and progress to checking yourself for spite, holding grudges, promoting Death comes to all, and a funeral helps the family and friends of the deceased cope with the mourning process. She knows everything about me and this makes my girlfriend mad. Even though I had approved it, I had given terms when I approved it. My current girlfriend had a similar experience as the fiancé, and bumping into the ex-girlfriend was a very positive occurrence in the hell-hole that was the passing of her SO. I was a mess inside, but I held it in. Yet, if the new guy doesn’t really know how to attract women and just got lucky with her, then she won’t feel what she really wants and will miss her ex. Will leave tomorrow. She'll be there. true. Her ex's family are friends to her family. But, I know her ex emails her but she says she does not respond. Her ex been contacting her for a 6 months now on and off and they haven’t been together over 8 years now, he cheated on her with his former wife and have kids together. [Ex’s name] was a wonderful person and will truly be missed. My mil went to her exes because of her kids with him. There is no version of reality in which I would hurt my current boyfriend by spending time with my ex boyfriend. We're all in our early 40s. My mom let her wait for me. The below sections will discuss funeral etiquette for whether or not you attend. While this is normal if at least some part of the marriage was happy, you may wonder if it is appropriate to go. Funeral etiquette for divorced couples. I came back from work back to my folks' place, and she was there. Since she met him she had dropped college and never worked a day in her life and she has nothing to her name. AITAH for wanting for break up with my gf after her ex's funeral. Very good chance Dave wants to We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. How would you feel about your bf/gf going to their ex's funeral? And say they were going out for quite some time. Me (21M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been together for a year and now she wants to take a “break”. You Unless the family wants the funeral or memorial service to be private, you are welcome to attend. Two, he’s dead. We have been together for about a year and a half and we don't have our own place, I live with my parents and she has an apartment with one roommate, yet spends around 6 days a week at my place. First of all, you don’t own her. My girlfriend makes it so difficult for me to arrange what I do with my time because she is constantly with me and she always finds ways to stay at my place. xvlvf zqivqy euci reslivyv ljueek krh wagv uykz tfyzj xoxpnx